How Can Men Be Allies for Women?
Since I began writing for MOXY in January 2022, I’ve been inspired by all the men in my personal network who have expressed their support of gender equality — to the point of seeking advice on how they can be a better ally. The truth is that men’s voices are going to have more power and result in quicker change than women’s, especially in male-dominated fields.
You, men, have real opportunity to create change!
Gender equality is often seen as a “women’s issue” whereby women are often discussed as both the problem (lack of representation) and the solution (“we need more women!”). However, this neglects a fundamental piece of the equation: men. There is a root, systemic cause of the inequality, which if left unaddressed, will render all potential solutions ineffective. Throwing more women at the problem will not fundamentally change the culture. Rather, the culture must be addressed first (Ringblom & Johansson, M., 2020).
Eliminating patriarchal cultures requires the involvement of men. Here are three ways you can be an ally of change.
expand your bubble
It is human nature to associate with others who are similar to us. It is comfortable to engage with people who share similar hobbies, sense of humor, taste in music or food, etc. And because so much of our society is influenced by gender, this tends to further segregate us through relationships we build.
As a colleague, friend, and corporate citizen, there’s a good chance you’re already exercising allyship to those who are in your bubble. This may be done naturally by checking in to see how your peers are doing, helping with extra tasks, and highlighting their achievements in front of broader audiences. Simply opening up your bubble to include those from other groups will naturally allow your social capital to uplift others.
Let Others Speak
Often we envision allyship as a confrontational role; however, this is not necessarily the case. Sometimes the best thing you can do is create a platform to let others speak. For example, if you notice someone has been spoken over in a meeting, simply ask, “Do you have anything to add?” or, “What are your thoughts?” As a minority in the room, it can be tough to find your voice. Therefore, providing a platform for others can be a powerful form of allyship.
Speak Out Against What’s Inappropriate — even when women aren’t around
As a man in a male-dominated industry, you will naturally participate in conversations that no women are part of. As such, you are likely to encounter the least inclusive conversations.
When it comes to impacting something as pervasive as an organization’s culture, it is not enough to simply “behave” where women are present. Changing a culture requires exercising a deeper level of empathy, integrity and awareness. For example, if you hear others using judgmental, condescending or sexist language or witness inappropriate behavior, stand up against it, even if there is no woman present to hear it.
It's not simply about protecting a woman who you notice feels uncomfortable. It's about creating a culture of respect.
This could be as simple as avoiding sports references, which can be exclusive to both men and women, but do tend to cater more to men. Challenging unconscious assumptions of topics like sports knowledge, heterosexuality, Western upbringing, religious affiliation, whiteness, etc., has been shown to be an effective means of creating a more inclusive environment for all (Laporte, 2019).
Allyship is not about getting a pat-on-the-back from an appreciative woman or being thanked for your help. Rather, it’s about creating a culture where women feel safe, respected, and included, even outside your presence.
SOURCES
Ringblom, & Johansson, M. (2020). Who needs to be “more equal” and why? Doing gender equality in male-dominated industries. Equality, Diversity and Inclusion: An International Journal, 39(4), 337–353. https://doi.org/10.1108/EDI-01-2019-0042
Laporte. (2019). Disrupting the Toxic vs. Healthy Masculinity Discourse: An Autoethnographic Study. ProQuest Dissertations Publishing.