Do You Know Who I Am? Never Mind, I'm Nobody: Ways In Which Ego Can Help or Harm Us
The Ego is a really big concept that has different meanings in different psychological schools. For the purpose of this article, I’m going to sum it up as sense of self, telling us who we are in relation to the world around us. The way that we feel about ourselves impacts our judgment, our expectations, and our reality.
People generally fall into three categories regarding their sense of self: grandiose, deflated, or realistic. Each type informs behavior differently. Being a woman in a male-dominated industry would suggest that women unite.
Unfortunately, sometimes the opposite is true and instead of banding together we see each other as competition. This is when ego can interfere with progress.
If we are competing with each other then the ultimate goal is to win. If our sights are on winning, we lose track of the bigger picture, which is that we are stronger together than we are divided.
If you find yourself in an uninvited competition with another woman on the job it is probably because you are seen as a threat. When people feel a threat, they often try to puff their chest and establish dominance. If you have a poor sense of self, you might back away to avoid conflict. Conversely, if you have an inflated sense of self, you might respond with angry comebacks. Neither response earns respect—you risk being seen as either weak or overly aggressive.
However, with a secure sense of self, you’re more likely to respond to displays of dominance with calm indifference, recognizing that others' opinions of you don’t have anything to do with you. Walking into a place where you are the obvious minority is challenging and requires intentional effort to be aware of your inner voice. Here are some action steps to ensure that you can survive and thrive:
Pause Before Reacting: When someone tries to belittle you to feel bigger, take a moment before responding. Knee-jerk reactions rarely go well.
Rely on Performance, Not Words: Remind yourself that proving your worth with words isn’t necessary. Your performance will speak for itself.
Evaluate the Situation: Ask yourself if the situation truly deserves your attention. Not every battle is worth fighting.
Don’t Take It Personally: Understand that people who try to establish dominance often have a deflated ego masked as a grandiose one. Their actions reflect their insecurities, not your value.
By maintaining a realistic and secure sense of self, you can navigate these challenges with confidence and poise, earning respect through your actions and character.