Two Surprising Personal Benefits of More Inclusion
Have you ever gone to a networking event and felt like you stepped back into your high school cafeteria?
Everywhere you look you see cliques. No one invites you to join their table. It feels like everyone’s staring at you. You feel excluded.
Just about everyone has experienced exclusion at some point. We’ve also experienced its opposite, inclusion. We’ve also been the ones at the table, who didn’t wave the new kid over.
Break it down
We love our cliques: human beings are social creatures and we form communities around all kinds of commonalities. It’s nice and comfortable to be in a community. You know how to act and what’s expected. So why change?
It takes effort to expand beyond our clique. We’re busy, we’re tired, and the truth is we’re a little bit lazy 😬. Besides — what’s the benefit?
The benefit of diversity and inclusion for companies and society is inarguable. I want to talk about the benefit of inclusion, of expanding your circle, for you.
I’ll give you two:
Opportunities
Altruism
Opportunities
The larger and more diverse your network, the more access you have to opportunities.
For white people, men especially, this has long been the norm. Of course John will tell me about the job, we’re in the same circle! Anyone outside the circle doesn’t have access to John’s information. It’s not because John doesn’t want to tell them, it’s just that they’re not in his circle.
John’s not being biased or exclusive on purpose (probably). But by keeping the information within his tight and likely homogenous circle, others are deprived of that information.
Now of course we keep some circles tight for a reason. Your nuclear family is your nuclear family! But in a lot of social and professional situations there’s no real reason to keep our circles as tight and inaccessible as they are.
When you expand your circle — beyond your industry, beyond your home city, beyond your gender and race and religion and all the dimensions of your identity — you expand your access to opportunities, both personal and professional.
Altruism
You also expand access to opportunities for others. You become the opening in the circle, a source of valuable information, a sought-after resource.
It feels good to help people, giving us that “warm glow” feeling that scientists have linked to the release of dopamine in our brains when we help others.
Yes, it can feel vulnerable to open your circle and invite someone in. What if they don’t like you? What if you don’t like them?
Well, there’s an element of risk when you do anything new or different. But what’s more likely than a poor outcome is a powerful one: changing the course of someone’s career, their life, their family’s lives, and more. Imagine the ripple effect YOU can have by opening your tight circle and extending opportunities to new and different people. Now that is impact. Not only does it create change, but it feels good to you, too.
Do Something Different
We can overcome our tight-circle-routines by making different choices. And we have to. Why? Because look around the world! There’s no reason to act as exclusive now as we did in high school, when our brains were still developing and we had nowhere near the insight and wisdom of today.
It comes down to talking to new and different people. Yes, it’s THAT SIMPLE. So today, do something different by getting to know more people.
Introverts, I know what you might be thinking! But it doesn’t have to be a 30-minute Zoom call. All it takes is an email to a new hire, or someone you saw at a virtual networking event, or a colleague you’ve never met on LinkedIn. Maybe it’s someone of a different race or gender than you in your alumni association.
You’re not asking them to move in with you — if you don’t click with the person, there’s no harm done. Let your curiosity lead the way. Think about a question you can ask to get to know that person. Think about what you can learn!
And let yourself enjoy it: the dopamine rush, the unforeseen opportunity, and the joy of connecting with another human after a tough year.
Alright, it’s accountability time! What action will you take to connect with someone new or someone you haven’t taken the time to get to know? If you haven’t, commit to our #100KConversations. No, you don’t need to have 100,000 conversations! Just one. That’s it!! At www.100KConversations.com, you’ll find resources to help you bridge the gap and have a quick convo with someone different.
About the Author: Stacey Gordon is Executive Advisor + Chief Diversity Strategist at Rework Work (reworkwork.com). For more research, examples, and detailed action steps to take, her book UNBIAS: Addressing Unconscious Bias at Work is for you. It’s a tool to create healthy, equitable, and inclusive workplaces, and it will power your journey and you can find it at unbiasbook.com.