Pipe Dreams I Didn't Even Know I Had

During the tough days on her way to becoming a Red Seal Trades-Lady, Jill Stagg looks at and holds a very special poker chip that she keeps on her bedside table. Her late life partner, Daniel, had written “All in!” on it.

Everyone has a story — a chain of events that have led them to being the “who, what, and where” of their existence today. The story grows with every passing minute, and this is mine as of today. I grew up in a dysfunctional and abusive home. To this day, when I am asked where my parents are, my response is “they are dead.”

The truth is they are very much alive, but I made them deceased to me approximately five years ago when the #MeToo movement was at its peak and gave me the strength to walk into a police station and finally tell my story. Their abuse is why I was on my own at 16 years of age, making my way through the last years of high school while trying to pay rent working a job at Harvey’s.

At 18, I met a man 19 years my senior and by 21 I was pregnant with my son, Cory, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Had it not been for him, I do not know where I would be today. For years, I worked minimum wage jobs — everything from being a security guard to the receptionist of a cleaning company. We moved from rental to rental, sometimes disappearing in the night because I just couldn’t put food on the table and pay the rent. We made it though.

When Cory was old enough to be in full-time school, I decided it was time for me to do the same. I applied for student loans and headed to college for the first time. My first attempt at school was for Business Administration – I was an honour student. I was proud. I gained employment as an office manager for a small architectural practice in Toronto and I met a man, Daniel, who became my life partner.

He too had struggled in his years on this earth, and together we were going to conquer the word while raising “our” son. Sadly, in 2012, Daniel couldn’t take his pain anymore. He ended his own life, and I hit rock bottom. For over a year, I existed with the only purpose I had left to keep me going — my amazing young son. I had to make it, not for me, but for him. It was a year that I don’t remember much of.

When I finally decided enough was enough, I asked for help. I started every kind of therapy under the sun, and I found hope again. I went to college for round two, this time for Construction Engineering Technologies. While I was working for the architectural practice, I had the chance to visits sites a lot. I noticed that every time I was on site I didn’t want to leave. It was exciting. I loved the noise of the equipment, the hustle and bustle, and watching how much it would change from one day to another.

I would describe the site to my son as if the heavy equipment and machinery were like “giant dinosaurs” and tell him, “Mommy is going to be around those dinosaurs for a job one day.”

The construction industry is where I wanted to be. I finished my program and over the next seven years I worked my way up from project coordinator to junior project manager; I attained my CAPM and LEED designations. My son grew into the most amazing young man; I had a home, a car – I had made it. I hung on to everything for dear life. I worked non-stop. What should have been a 40-hour workweek became 60 hours.

I was stressed out, falling ill all the time and just not happy. Then, COVID-19 hit. I lost my job and I had to re-think everything. There are always those pivotal moments we have, the moments which are truly a fork in the road and depending on which path you take, you either get to look back and say “I’m so happy I did” or “Why didn’t I?” For me, one of these moments was a “beers and tears” moment with some friends, one of whom had also lost their job at the same company.

While we sat and chatted about what our next steps would be, we asked each other, “If you could do anything for work right now what would you do?” and I blurted out “I’d be a tradesperson.” I knew I loved the site; I knew I was hating my project management career; I knew I was burnt out and on the cusp of turning 40. I was going to be heading into part two of my life and my inner coach was telling me to head into the second half leaving nothing left on the table. I knew it would be tough financially at first, taking a pay cut for the first few years.

When Daniel passed away, he had a poker chip in his pocket that he had written on with black Sharpie. It reads “Go all in.” I thought about that poker chip.

The very next day, I was online researching how to become an apprentice, and before the day was over, I was enrolled in a Pre-Apprenticeship program for that January. I haven’t looked back since. In early 2021, I was officially registered as a first-year apprentice in the pipe trades, welcomed into UA Local 46 and headed towards my Red Seal. I added welding to my trade aspirations mid-way through my first year; I was humbled to receive scholarships through the MCAC (Mechanical Contractors Association of Canada), which lessened the financial burden.

Above all, I was happy. The pipe trades are therapy for me. When I am working with my hands, my brain slows down and I am only thinking about that amazing installation I am completing, or the pretty welds I’m trying to make.

I love being physically tired – every bead of sweat has a purpose. I love the people.

We are all so different and yet are a part of this amazing sisterhood and brotherhood. I love being a “sister.” As a woman with “dead parents,” it’s a family to me. Is being a female tradesperson challenging in other ways beyond the actual work? Hell yes! There are so few of us, and change is needed to what is still very much a male-dominated and sometimes antiquated industry, but it is so worth it. I love being a part of that change.

For me, the trades provide an excellent income, benefits, very healthy pension, and work-life balance. Moreover, the work makes me happy. I get to see the fruits of my labor come to fruition daily, coming home and saying, “I did that!” I am so proud to say that my son Cory has followed my footsteps into the trades, and at 18 is a first year Steamfitting Apprentice with UA Local 46. He wore his hardhat to graduation and made me so very proud. He in turn, is so proud when he tells people, “My mom does this too.”

As of today, I am a Second Year Apprentice with two levels of full-time schooling under my belt for Steamfitting and hoping to get my first round of welding education completed in the coming months. I am well on the way to becoming a Red Seal Trades-Lady and I keep that poker chip on my bedside table to have a look at and hold whenever I have a bad day. I am so grateful that when I was at that fork in the road I went left instead of right. We only live once, therefore we only get to write one book – one story. Go all in. If the chapter didn’t end the way you liked, start writing a new chapter. I’ve titled my new chapter “Pipe Dreams.”

What will you call yours?

About the Author: Jill Stagg of Ontario, Canada, is a second-year steamfitting / welding apprentice with UA Local 46.