Patting the Head vs Padding the Pockets
Image courtesy of cafecredit.com
There are many forms of currency. The dollar, the euro, the yen, and many more across the world. But did you know that there is one currency that is universal? You can use it in every country on every continent. It is rarely spoken about. Strangely, you can’t purchase even one stick of gum with it. But it is perhaps the most prolific currency in the entire history of the world. And the most insidious. A currency that has almost ZERO monetary conversion value. Its conversion lulls recipients into a false sense of security. It is warm and fuzzy. You may feel drowsy and unable to operate heavy machinery under its effects.
Femme Filers, I give you: Emotional Currency. For the sake of this conversation, let’s call this currency “Pats.” Made popular in the 1960s when women started to really cross into the workspaces and at its real takeoff in the 1980s when women moved out of the Pink Ghetto (Baby Boom w/Diane Keaton reference – look up this movie!) and into the conference room at alarming rates.
Its wafting and intoxicating scent can leave you feeling you can jump through flaming hoops. Into a 12- foot-deep pool of Great White Sharks. The euphoric serotonin producing scent can make its receiver feel like working 20 out of 24 hours in a herculean effort to be the first one in under a deadline. It lures one into believing that they are THE most special being in the world. It can cause one to overestimate their true value in the eyes of the Converter. It is blinding in its brilliance.
Perhaps the most puzzling of this currency is its ratio of conversion. One “Pat” can pay for many hours of overtime. Two “Pats” can buy contemporaneous amounts of additional duties. Five or more “Pats” in a small period could get a “lifetime” of loyalty (Disclaimer: Spans of time may change as the effects of Emotional Currency wear off).
The nauseating truth is that no true currency is exchanged. All the actions/reactions that Emotional Currency elicits have no real value to the recipient. In the end, you get nothing. The most you get is a hangover. With sober clarity comes the reflection of what happened. Do you feel like a sell out?
For the more deluded purveyor of Emotional Currency, one might believe that it’s a two-way street. That they are somehow converting these “Pats” back into some more tangible reward that later will be awarded for all the work. But this isn’t a mortgage. You don’t get to own anything at the end. In fact, you may feel like you gave something away.
But do not fear, my Lovelies! For we have ALL had pockets of “Pats” at one time or another.
The first step is recognizing when someone is trying to pay you in “Pats.” Look for the signs. The overexcited email ending in exclamations points that exclaim what a wonder you are and how on earth could you have come up with something so very efficient. Winks across the boardroom after you have shared your view on an issue that the room has been taxed with solving. The elusive “You take better notes than any of us” in a room full of your contemporaries – that is the three-“Pat” equivalency.
The interesting part is what happens when you stop putting them in your pocket. What happens when the person doing the converting starts realizing that the bank isn’t operating the same as always? They scramble to try and figure out what will work, and it is almost comical to watch.
Let’s be clear. I am not saying that every compliment or kudos is part of this currency exchange. At its core, the word currency is about circulation. Are “Pats” circulating through your bank? Look – you ARE every bit the wonderful ultimate supreme. I believe you are. This is more about the Converter’s desire to use ONE form of currency. If this is the case, ask yourself a very scary question: Why am I being paid in “Pats” over dollars?
If you’re getting both then that is AMAZING! But that is not the reality for many. Take a step back. Have a look. Smack yourself into a reality check.
If your bank is good to take multiple currencies… always make sure the one that converts most often is RESPECT. Aretha said so.