Calling Coco Chanel

What is the new corporate attire for women? Pants suits? Skirts below the knee? Or something like what’s pictured above? It seems some uptight managers would indeed prefer a Victorian throwback.

Coco Chanel once said, “Dress shabbily they notice the dress. Dress impeccably, they notice the woman.”

There is also the very cliched “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”

It leads one to ask the question, what IS the new corporate attire for women? Is it polyester laden pant suits, silk corsets with structured jackets thrown over, or some mix of the two?

In a galaxy far far away, I had a male boss once say to me, “I’m telling you as a friend, but your skirt length is kind of short for customers. Next time just snap a picture and send it to me and I’ll approve it before you go to a customer.” (That really happened).

Valentino and his design team would have been slightly offended at the insinuated subtle cataloging of their clothes as “Slutty Office Couture.” I was too baffled to be outraged.

The offensive suit in question had been worn many times in the office with nary a complaint from said senior manager (or ANY manager) in the past. But one day, someone got up and decided it wasn’t for the workplace. There was not even an argument I could construct in my defense because it didn’t make sense to me. The offending skirt was sitting at a length that couldn’t near allude to indecency and I didn’t understand the ‘knee length’ indignity of it all.

If you can summon up the ‘head on fire’ image, perhaps you can imagine a blonde with her perfectly coiffed up-do lighting a match with a perfectly lacquered nail and setting her head on fire. That would be me.

There is no easy way to wrap your head around it. What they really meant was: You’re in your 40s. Who do you think you are?

It’s also propelled by this mindset that we should appear like cookie cutter paper dolls. Black jacket, white shirt, black pants, black shoes. Or some very same shade of navy. The occasional print thrown in under the jacket. If we’re feeling really wild perhaps a fancy lapel pin.

My official response to the injustice was: unless there is a dress code dictating my skirt length, I’ll wear what I want within the realm of professional decency.

Men deciding female dress codes is a joke beyond hysterical proportions. Dress codes were at first a way to ensure professionalism in the 60s and 70s. In the 80s as women left the home and flocked to the workplace, it became about equalizing. The 90s ushered in the stringent harassment laws and male bosses sought to avoid potential pitfalls by ensuring women dressed in a manner that kept us from being a distraction. Fast forward to today and now you notice that beyond the usual, no shorts or torn jeans, etc, there is nary a mention around hemlines or heel height. And why? Because to do so is a complete BS sandwich. With extra cheese.

Let me be clear – I do believe women should dress professionally. And if I skirt (no pun intended) the lines of decency, I should be called to account. But what does that mean? Does that mean that while it doesn’t say that I can’t do it in the Handbook, that I should be judged some kind of way for wearing a 5” heel to an industry event? Does it mean that I shouldn’t wear a halter because it exposes (gasp) my shoulders. Am I to cater to avoid every shoulder, ankle, and knee fetish that someone has because they might get ‘distracted’?

Should we be calling potato sack manufacturers to start doing Corporate Couture? I don’t think so.

So how do I navigate it today?

My comfortability in style and clothes feeds my productivity. It feeds that place in my Soul that turns the Boss Babe notch up. If you have graciously allowed the dress code to include jeans on Fridays, I think you can suffer the faux heart attack and active pearl clutching that comes from me showing up in a hot pink suit with matching heels. And if you can’t, you better work on it.

My current employer trusts me to know what is decent and what is not. There is no one judging my wardrobe and criticizing its propriety. I am valued and seen as a good brand. From head to toe.

Time lapse from the hideous clothing confrontation: Three months and one resignation later I was sitting home and received this from one of the outside companies that I dealt with within that company – UNSOLICITED:

“Dearest Elaine - We are so sad to hear that you moved on, we will sincerely miss your level of class, elegance, and genuine care of client.”

Class.

Elegance.

Genuine.

Care of Client.

Let that be your brand, business card, and your suit.