Are You Going to Lift This on Your Own or Are We Going to Lift This Together?

I always knew I wanted to be a carpenter, even when people discouraged me. At 16, I was on sites working with carpenters, getting my hands dirty, cutting and moving lumber. Yet, I was expected to go to university for engineering or architecture because I had strong grades. Yes, I was a good student, but honestly school made me miserable. I didn’t want to sit for hours. I wanted to be up moving and creating things.

Miralys showed promise in the trades from a very young age.

Many adults told me that I was “too smart” and “shouldn’t cut myself short.” I think my appearance also prompted a lot of this sentiment. A 5’2” blonde is a far cry from the burly, tall men typically associated with construction. There’s an assumption that I probably will take longer to move lumber (not true!) and wouldn’t like demo work (um, yes please pass me the big sledgehammer!).

But height does not equal strength. Sometimes you just must be smarter in how you use your body or the tools around you. I won’t lie — sometimes my height makes it awkward and I must be creative in how to meet the physical demands of my job. But I love it. I knew that there was a physical component to my job and that’s one of the things that attracted me to it.

Unfortunately, all these people’s negative beliefs and expectations were not aiding my development long term. I entered this industry wanting to combat those expectations that women weren’t strong. I had this idea that I was going to prove wrong everyone who thought this wasn’t the right career for me or that I couldn’t make it.

I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder, and it made it difficult for me to ask for help when I needed it.

I didn’t want to be perceived as a “ditzy blonde,” the girl on site who didn’t know how to use the tools or didn’t know anything. Expecting myself to just know or pick up everything right away was very unrealistic. It’s called the skilled trades for a reason. What we do is skilled work and obtaining that skill is something that takes hours, years even, to develop.

I have realized that I don’t have to prove anything. I have a right to be there and to need help just as any other guy working in construction — and I think most of the people within the industry recognize that too. I even saw this when I was in college and we were moving sheets of OSB (kind of like plywood). I remember people were lifting it on their own or in partners. It was my turn, and a guy came up and asked me, “Are you going to lift this on your own or are we going to lift this together?” It made me smile the way he asked because he wasn’t assuming I couldn’t lift the sheet on my own.

The way he phrased the question made me feel respected and in control of the situation.

I wasn’t some damsel in distress he was coming to help and, in the end, I thanked him for asking but let him know I was good to lift it on my own. Another time, I was really struggling to install some rafters for a little house we were building in class. In school we don’t use nail guns, only hand nails and screws, and so it was awkward trying to hold the piece in place and tack it. A lot of guys were working together to get their rafters tacked. But, trying to be the “independent” woman, I didn’t ask for any help and just struggled on my own for a while.

Eventually one of my friends noticed me really struggling and just grabbed the piece and held it steady. We laughed together afterward because it was so ridiculous that I didn’t just call out for help. I instead struggled for a much longer period than necessary, which in the end I think made me look more like a fool than if I had just asked for help.

About the author: Miralys Polski graduated from the Renovation Technician program at Conestoga College. She is a carpenter's apprentice at Eagleview Construction and an ambassador for KickAss Careers.