5 Simple Language Switches to Create a More Inclusive Culture
We often have different word choices when describing the behaviors of men vs. women. Even with infants we see these trends, as adults describe babies in pink clothing as “sweet” and “pretty,” and the same babies in blue clothing are described as “troublemakers” and “little bosses.” These subtle word choices can impact the development of personalities, self-esteem and relationships.
Of course, gendered word choice extends far beyond toddlerhood. Professional, career-driven women seeking fair compensation seem “pushy” or “bitchy” whereas men are seen as “ambitious” for the same actions. Even with the best intentions, the wrong word choice can cause miscommunication or even offense. When trying to demonstrate allyship and create an inclusive culture, it’s critical to consider the words you’re using to ensure messages are received as you intended.
Instead of “chatting” or “gossiping,” try “networking”
It meant a lot to me when I heard a male leader ask someone about their word choice after they’d described me as “chatting” and “giggling” while conversing with my colleagues over lunch. Challenge yourself by asking this question: how would I phrase this if I were speaking to/about a man?
Instead of “she’s the mom of the team,” try “she’s a strong leader”
When delivering a compliment or praise, ask yourself, “What could be the implications?” Would you use the same words to compliment a man for the same achievement? A 2020 study on gendered language in the Forbes CMO list found men to be more likely than women to be given leadership descriptors such as “confident,” “respected,” “motivated” and “credible.”
Due to social expectations of emotional labor (See: “Is Emotional Labor a New Glass Ceiling?”), women are expected to take on more administrative and social tasks than their male counterparts. Despite going the extra mile to take care of their team members and culture, their work is often discredited by attributing it to maternal traits rather than their hard work and skill.
Instead of “guys,” try “everyone”
“Guys” is a funny expression because often it is intended to be gender-inclusive; however, it also caters more to men. For example, beginning a meeting with “Let’s get started guys” could be intended to be inclusive of everyone regardless of gender, but if someone were to say “Look at that group of guys,” we would expect them to be referring to men only. As a result, the use of the term “guys” can be confusing and could risk seeming exclusive. Avoid addressing the group all together by saying “Let’s get started,” or simply say “Let’s get started everybody.”
Instead of assuming someone’s relationship or family status, try saying “your priorities outside of work”
When discussing my personal career goals, I am often advised about how certain options will be more challenging as I, a woman, settle down with a partner and create a family, despite having not disclosed my personal goals outside of work.
This advice is well-intended as women tend to take on more social, domestic, and parental responsibility; however, it is inappropriate to assume someone’s priorities based on their gender, or to assume an understanding of their home life, ability to have children, desire to have children, relationship status, etc.
Instead, focus on the professional aspects of the topic (e.g., time commitment) and expectations of the role. If you feel it’s necessary to discuss how this may influence personal life, try doing so by sharing an anecdote about yourself or someone you know, rather than assuming personal details about the person with whom you’re speaking.
Instead of “rule of thumb,” try “general rule”
Although normalized in our language today, there are many figures of speech rooted in misogynistic practices. “Rule of thumb,” which originates from using the thumb as a general unit of measure, was used as justification for domestic battery in American and British legal systems. In 1868, a North Carolina ruling allowed a man to beat his wife as long as the switch had a circumference no larger than his thumb.
Conclusion
Thinking critically about how words may be perceived will help ensure the message is communicated in the way it was intended, without being lost in translation or causing unintended offense. Simply ask yourself:
Would I use these same words if I were speaking to/about a man?
Is there anyone who could feel excluded based on my word- choice?
Am I making assumptions based on gender?
How else could my message be perceived?