"What Do You Expect?" Isn't a Shrug - It's a Red Flag
I’ve never felt that my voice mattered or that I could change the world with my words. I grew up trying to make myself smaller to fit into the boxes my family drew for me. I stayed small in many of my corporate roles to fit into the boxes the organization or society deemed I needed to squeeze into to be successful.
I was suffocating, but I did what was expected at work.
I ignored the weird comments, demeaning words, and gross behaviors. I smiled. I laughed. I nodded. I died a little every day.
Tired of wading through the muck of workplace inequality, I raised an issue with HR. The response I got? A shrug. From a fellow woman. I was told, “what do you expect?”
I died a little more that day and hoped in my next life, I would come back as a white man.
Aside from my above-mentioned failed attempt at justice, I never complained. I put my head down and worked, like so many of us do. After years of tolerance, I realized that my behavior was part of the problem. By keeping my mouth shut, which for me is a rarity, I perpetuated workplaces filled with misogyny.
No longer able to stay quiet, because there’s only so much you can bottle up and bury within, I shared some of the weird shit I’ve experienced as a woman in the workplace on LinkedIn.
I stopped feeling small and started to claim my narrative.
The response I received was nothing short of overwhelming. For a post I almost didn’t share because being that vulnerable makes me want to vomit, I was floored. Women from around the world were sharing their weird experiences with me too.
They told me about the times they, too, were made to feel less than. They put into words how “innocent” comments took away their power. They laid bare the rawness that we all feel and use power suits and lipstick to shield.
90,000+ impressions, 50+ reposts, and 2,300 reactions later, I felt our collective sadness and hope. I realized just how much this conversation about our words and actions is needed.
Enduring the “weird shit,” which is a water-downed way to say sexual harassment, that sloshes around every day is far too common.
Every woman who’s been in the workplace for longer than 15 minutes has tolerated their own version of weird shit. We’ve experienced the sting of offhand comments and the bite of more overt actions or phrases.
But many of us believe our responses in these moments don’t matter. We believe we are just a drop in the bucket and can’t change the world.
When drops come together, they can create a swell that overtakes anything.
We all have stories of weird shit that are lying dormant or raging within us. By sharing them, we can create a swell that brings about change to benefit us and our daughters and sons.
Incredible strides have been made in the last 120+ years since women received the right to vote. But the road ahead remains long.
It’s time to start a conversation to make that road to equality shorter. Use your words for good and share your experiences so they may never happen again. Our voices hold power.
Cheers to change. Together.
About the Author: Rose Moran is a marketer, a mom, a wanna-be-wonder-woman. With more than 15 years of marketing and business development experience, as Founder and Chief Strategist of Crafted Identies, she helps law firms and professional services organizations refine their branding and marketing communications.